In this picture, KNOW, I STILL DID NOT. But in 2 weeks, KABOOM!!! See Joel reaching for food? That's him in grey jersey and yellow helmet, extreme right. He wouldnt be as calm in 2 weeks like in this picture.
HOw I knew. It had been 8 years since we got married. We figured, our money and wealth HARHARHARHARHAR was probably meant to be spent for something else. Hmmmm, let's see...bike parts, upgrade, upgrade, swimming lessons and coaches, hmmm nice authentic world champ jerseys...vacations, the works. But somehow, 2 months prior, Ive decided to stop drinking coffee. Coz its known to cause dehydration and I wouldnt want to be dehydrated, not with the kind of sports I was in anyway. And so blah blah blah. Swim classes 3x weekly, uphill cycling training 2x, and the whole echalada. Ohhhh we were so tanned. I likey!!! I think we were preparing for a 3 leg race. I was on the roll! Fast forward 2 weeks. Wednesday, on the car (I miss the Terrano), I felt nauseated. I didnt dare tell Joel. He might take me straight to the E.R. and they'd take xrays, blood samples and they'd tell me I have brain tumor or something! YIKES!!! better na lang not to know no? kakaloka! total, sa house, the dizzy icky feeling went away na, so it was just probably indigestion. Toink! We needed to do a shut eye coz we were meeting Ben, of Bikehub, for a 5am training ride sa trail of the race. You know, race chuva! As usual, prepare ako ng eggs, milo, mga ka ek-ekan of a cyclist. Toink, there goes the nausea again. Ay hindi ko na kinaya. 4.45am I told Joel to go without me coz I just probably need more rest. Ha! If I know i was just too happy to escape that trail ride. Ive finished the first leg of the race the Sunday before and finishing 4th by .02 seconds didnt sit well with my spirit. But I wanted to do elimination process, maybe menstruation? Ngeee! not on racing week! I asked Joel to please buy me a home pregnancy kit on his way back home. Hay, 8 years of testing at home and 8 years of getting a negative result, it made the gesture parang zombie like lang. Routine. elimination process lang. Baka brain tumor lang talaga or something. Ha! I went running pa instead, while Joel was gone. I have gotten my grove 1 month ago with running. I was so yabang na in the camp running with and even passing them military men. hehehe. I was racing sometime November. My tan was even na. I have maintained 100 lbs for the past 3 years already. My hair has gone lighter (chemicals and sun and chlorine). Typical. Joel was giving me a lighter bike no matter the result of the race. I just suddenly felt ok. I texted Joel, "please dont buy pregnancy test na lang. ive rested na. thanks". For some freaky reason, he didnt get the text message and bought a preg test anyway. Like clockwork, he got home, kissy kissy, hello hellos, how was the trail etc etc. He handed me the preg test kit. clockwork nga eh, I did the thingy in the bathroom. checked my eyebrows if it needed tweezing, looked at my watch, 8.25am, heard a visitor come in the house, talking with joel, etc etc. I went out of the bathroom, remembered the preg test, went back in, forgot where I put it, found it with my make up stuff and the world stopped turning. My spirit was sucked out of my body, all intelligence oozed out of my brain. Duh. another month, another test, another result. Im used to that one single straight line by now. Its my neighbor. I was loitering around the kitchen, wala lang. Saw the visitor go out na, Joel coming back in, I met him in the dining area. Asked, "How much is this kit?" Him: "69.90?" Me:"aggh, its the cheap kind, no wonder, it must be expired already." Joel shrugs. I handed him the preg test kit, face up, "IT'S POSITIVE". we both went blank. Him:"ok". I go up to the bedroom and called my bestfriend Emi in dipolog, "I think Im pregnant" She screams and says ninang daw siya. Ok. "Maybe I need to go tothe hospital lab?" She:"dapat, go now." I go down and tell Joel,"I think I need to go to the lab". Hop in the car, we did. I was by now, irritated, coz my skinny pants wouldnt let me breath anymore. Too much carbs last night!!! Joel dropped my off in the hospital, he had to go to his friend's house a block away, Jugger. I registered, peed, found my cousin doctor, Faye, told her blah blah blah. She went pale. Took me inside the lab, made me sit in one corner. By now I was sweating cold. It was dawning on me. Faye coerced a med tech to do my test first. I was in the reception area. When you're done, you go out. I was told to just stay in. sure, why not. The aircon was blasting cold air. I was irritated with my face, it had gone itchy and red around the mouth. My skin was pasty, hands were shaking. It seemed like forever. Suddenly, Faye jumps on me, slipping a preg test kit into my cold hands, squeezing me tight saying,"Frame this Ati". She was crying by now, handing me an official cebu doc hospital result. POSITVE. PREGNANT. So how do you think I reacted? I SCREAMED, CRIED, SOBBED AND hugged Faye tight. I was crying shamelessly, people outside have come running to see why. The receptionists were congratulating me and laughing. I was saying and crying, "8 years! 8 years! it took us 8 years!!!" I was crying and crying and crying!!! Calmed down I kissed Faye goodbye and ran out to the lobby, called Joel on the phone, "IM PREGNANT!" Joel laughed, mumbled something, I heard Jugger scream, ALRIGGGHHHHHTTTT!!!. Joel was picking me up, I was supposed to wait on the front drive way. But I couldnt stop walking, I was walking away from the hospital driveway. 1 minute later, I saw Joel at the intersection. Go, I said, already. He made a turn for the hospital. He probably saw me walking, by now Im in front of the chinese church. \Joel stopped. He stopped in the middle of the road, after a traffic light!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! he was as shaken as I was gali! I ran laughing to the car and hopped inside. I texted our families, my papa, Joel's sis, Nang cynch: "Please call. Nothing to worry." My papa was a bit irate, I shouldnt text something like that daw coz its scary. I apologized. He laughed and cried at my news. nang Cynch called. Screamed! My mom called. Papa texted her daw, "call ati, important now". She got scared. She was at the construction site of their new house. She was standing on a small platform talking to the architect. Told her my news. She screamed and fell from the platform but she was laughing still. mumbled something and I heard the architect laugh with her. I called my bestfriends all over the country. Called my cousin in Florida. And that's how we knew.
Sunday night, Alyssa,4, started coughing and came down with a fever. I knew what to do. Doctor mom, I am. She had to miss 4 days of school. Every 2 days I took her to her doctor to monitor her lungs and such. You know, just cant be too careful with respiratory infections. it's in the genes. So I didnt wanna second guess fate. Thursday, she was almost fully recovered. Then Ava started coughing. Uh-uh. She had been diagnosed with ashtma attack once before so I knew it wasnt going to be as easy. Took both kids to their doctor for check ups. Both lungs okay. Routine medicines. 
Every other day I took Ava to her doctor for follow ups. Still good and okay. Saturday morning found me sleepy in the doctor's office with Ava, waiting for our turn. Sunday evening, she took a turn for the worse. We knew something was just not right, we took her to the ER. She already had pneumonia, bronchitis and have started to show signs of dehydration. By 1am we were settled in room 312. I drove home, crying. My poor babe. The pain and discomfort she must be feeling. Meters away from the house, I just had to wail. I sat in the bathroom for 20 minutes doing nothing, saying nothing, thinking nothing. Just wailing crying. I havent even started packing stuff for the hospital after another 20 minutes later. By 3am I was driving back to the hospital. Joel was seated carrying a sleeping Ava on IV. Poor JOel, poor Ava. By 5am, I still havent slept a wink yet. Next thing I knew it was 6am. Ava was bombed out by the antibiotics. 
